Spouse won't go vegan

Hi Sassy,

I would love to entertain a vegetarian or vegan diet but my husband is a die hard meat eater. I can't convince him to change his diet or lifestyle.

Help!
Sharon W.
Texas

*****
Sassy Sez: Hi Sharon! I hear you using the word "convince". Sort of a red flag. Are you REALLY trying to change his mind about going vegan with you? Not sure if that will work.

Why?

Because what we eat is just one of those things that is incredibly personal. While it would be fantastic if your hubby came on board with your new lifestyle (some do!), not everyone wants to go vegan.

I mean, just because this is a decision you have made for yourself, is it fair and reasonable to expect him to just drop his own beliefs about food to join you? Well, it might seem so, but it just doesn't always work this way.

But does it mean you should NOT go vegan just because he doesn't want to join you? Of course not, because that's not fair to you and what you believe is right.

Damn, it can be tough to find that happy place, being true to yourself while respecting your husband at the same time.

So, you need a plan of action...

--> One idea you might be toying with is to prepare a non-vegan meal that hubby can eat while you simply "make do" with those parts of the meal that ARE vegan, like a small pile of veggies and some bread.

Is this the answer? NO! IT SUCKS! Why should your nutritional needs fall by the wayside just because he doesn't want to go vegan?

--> So, you think maybe you can pull off preparing two meals, one for the vegan side of the household and one for the non-veg side of the household.

But who has the time for that? Very few! It can be a one-way ticket to the insane asylum!

So what is the answer? What will keep you BOTH happy?



Here's what I recommend:

Prepare those foods that ALL all of us should eat on a daily basis, whether you're vegetarian or not. These foods include whole foods such as delicious veggies, hearty beans, and grounding whole grains with a smattering of nuts and seeds (chopped nuts added to a dish can bring in a wonderful meaty texture). These foods aren't "vegan" foods; they are, quite simply, FOOD! Then, if he wants to add a side of meat, chicken, or fish, he can do so. (An outdoor grill can REALLY come in handy at these times.)

On a side note: You might enjoy Cooking From Scratch for examples of amazing vegan meals make from these simple whole foods.

If being around animal products is something you just truly don't even want in your home anymore, then perhaps you can have a compromise where you eat vegan at home, but go out for meals where hubby can eat non-vegan foods.

In order to pull this off, keep "faux meats" in mind when preparing some of your meals. While faux foods are not foods that you should eat every single day (because they are, after all, processed), they CAN act as a sort of "stepping stone" for you to use in your cooking instead of diving head first into what hubby might consider "that healthy vegan stuff."

Plus, it might help him warm up to the idea of your veganism a bit more easily as you weave more and more healthy whole foods into your meals. The faux meats on the market today can be quite delicious and "meat-like".

Loafing Around With Jeff is an amazing class that will teach you how to make hearty no-meatloaves your entire family can get behind.

xo