Help! Have any vegans relapsed?

by Dominique
(Maryland)

For 5 months I was doing so well being a vegan. Then I gave in and ate some crablegs. Those crablegs opened the door to everything. I ate things that were made with milk and eggs. I feel so guilty. I feel like I'm not worthy.

I'm back on the vegan wagon and promise to myself and all the animals I will not mess up again. I feel so bad though, like I am a hypocrite. I have a Mercy For Animals hoodie and I don't even feel worthy to wear it anymore. I am back at square one. :(

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Help! Have any vegans relapsed?

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Aug 03, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		We all do it!!!!!
by: Edna

Don't be so hard on yourself!!! Your not alone. Your doing he right thing by getting right back in the saddle!! That day is in the past now, so it is time to move on..Concentrate on what your doing right now, and think of a reward for yourself for sticking with it for a certain amount of time. Like maybe three weeks without a relapse and then go on from there. Good luck and We're proud of you for sticking to your guns and getting right back into good eating!!!!
Aug 04, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		thanks edna
by: Anonymous

aaawwwww thanks edna. that made me feel a whole lot better. i dont know anyone who is a vegan so im pretty much doing this myself. its good to hear that other vegans are going through the same thing im going through. ;-)
Aug 04, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Be kind to yourself.
by: Anonymous

Hi there,
You've taken the best step which is getting back to Vegan. When I ate an egg, I found that I had no "I'm Perfect" Badge to take off and hide on the shelf. I got over it.

This seems to be a coin with two sides. I couldn't help but notice that with one exception every sentence had the word "I" in it. I don't think that being Vegan is an "I" thing. It's more a "Them" thing. It's about reducing your footprint and reducing suffering for animals. Since you chose to embrace Vegan, how many animals have been spared? Animal rights are the one side of the coin.
The other side of the coin is all positive. Vegan is fun and creative. It can help our bodies feel better,open our eyes to new experiences, help the Earth by bettter using her resources, help connect us to new friends and open the path to more mindful living. It can act as a reminder to our omnivore friends that there IS an alternative.

When we think in absolutes, we often neglect the progress that we have made. Forgive yourself and move forward.
Aug 04, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Why a relapse?
by: Anonymous



I invite you to be very tender with yourself. You are experiencing a part of you that is still exploring your new choices. If you would consider it more of a reVIEW instead of relapse you may find you learned something from the crableg "caper." It helps when I ask myself in a loving tone, "Why am I shaming myself? Why does this hurt so much?" Something usually surfaces from another time, another experience. I can forgive myself and move on.

We are always learning, choosing and beginning again but the freedom to do so with tenderness and some humour is what both helps and heals us. So Namaste to your sweet self--even that part with a hard shell.
Aug 04, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		WINE/BEER not vegan
by: beer drinker

Does that mean that every time you fall, you shouldn't walk again? No!! I have "fallen" off the wagon. I just start up again. No big deal.
My problem is finding vegan wine and beer. I haven't, so I have been drinking any 'ol wine and beer. I realize it's NOT vegan, but I allow myself a bottle now and again. Perhaps someone can advise me on wine and beer.
Aug 04, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Fabulous
by: Sassy

Thanks everyone for adding your comments to this topic.

I agree that we really must be good to ourselves. How many times have you been hard on yourself, and then turned to a friend and offered 150% of your support?

You are your oldest friend - be kind. :O)

Sending hugs to all! xo
Sass
Aug 04, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Yes, Yes! Have Fallen!
by: Anonymous

I used to "fall off the wagon" every time my friends wanted to go for sushi. It took me a l-o-n-g time to make that choice and stick to it--long after I'd given up fish in all other forms. And I still slip when faced with certain delicious baked good, if no vegan alternative is around. I wish that weren't true, but it is.
You're not back to square one, though. Now you have an opportunity to look at what internal and external conditions led to you "slipping". (Personally, I find that if I start eating a lot of sugary things, even though they are vegan, it makes it much harder for me to turn down non-vegan sugary things. My relationship with sugar, especially dark chocolate, is NOT a healthy one! I'm working on that, even as I type this to you.) By analyzing these factors, you can think of strategies for avoiding another slip. But while you're doing that, also congratulate yourself for the effort you are making. It's not easy to stick to a vegan diet in a world that eats meat and offers scant support (and often ridicule) for vegans. YOU ROCK!
And, like so many others have said, be kind to yourself. We are not perfect beings. Namasté.
Aug 04, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		THANKS EVERYBODY!!
by: Anonymous

thanks everyone for the support. i was literally crying (im so sensitive) when i was reading the comments. even though i never ment any of you, i still feel a sense of love and friendship. you guys comments have helped me forgive myself and realize fu@% ups are o.k. :-)
Aug 05, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Keeping vigil
by: Di

Hi! I was really on track until about 2 and 1/2 years into being vegan, when I started to think it's ok to have that soup with dairy in it which I accidentally bought (failing to read the label). Right then and there I heard an inner voice saying to me 'WHAT ARE YOU THINKING!!!!!!???' It's like a little bit of rape won't hurt, right?
What kept me on track the first 2 years was the painful images in Earthlings (I watched it over and over with people I wanted to wake up as I did).
A good reminder as to why you went vegan is a good starting point. Go and watch that movie again, or read that book, or whatever it is that made you go vegan. And whenever you feel like you want to slip, forgive yourself for that feeling, let go of it, and make the choice that you feel is right. You cannot change the past, but you can choose every moment anew which is in alignment with who you are and what you are about.
None of us are perfect, and it's not about that. It's about staying aware and connected with your compassionate self, and being vigilant of all the non-vegan influences which perpetuate every corner of our existence.
Good luck and most of all love yourself and who you are. Vegan HUGS!!
Aug 09, 2010
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starstarstarstarstar 		Relax
by: Anonymous

I think that for many people transitioning into veganism there can be many triggers that set us back.
I remember being at at party and I didn't eat before I went. There really wasn't much in the way of healthy food. I ate a small cookie and that led me into a food frenzy.
When I got home that night I sat and thought about what really set me off. It just so happened earlier that day my soon to be ex of 28 years and I were finalizing our divorce.
I realized it was an old habit of eating comfort foods back in the day when I ate all those things.
Once you realize what triggers you- be kind to yourself and just move forward.
Replace old food habits with new things you love
and learn your triggers so you can avoid the pitfalls.
But mostly, relax, have fun and don't be so hard on yourself. It's the begining! not the end. :)
Feb 15, 2012
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starstarstarstarstar 		Shhh...I know a secret
by: Anonymous

I know a secret that some vegans seem to be unaware of. It's this *looking furtively around*
"There are no vegan police".

At times, most of us mess up. Sometimes inadvertantly (it wasn't Nayonaise?) sometimes with our knowledge and consent. (I ate that piece of turkey to keep the peace with granny)

No one arrested us, no one beat us with an baton, no one threw us in an ecologically perfect prison.
So if no else will do these things to us, why do we do it to ourselves?
We beat ourselves up because we are cognizant of the effects that our choices have on animals. We care. We want to be proud of our choices, knowing that we are part of the solution. And we ARE part of the solution. This doesn't mean that we are perfect beings.
Perfect Vegans only exsist in fantasy.
That doesn't mean that there arn't people who really strive to ALWAYS do what's best for the animals. It just means that vegans are people. And people are fallible.
I know I am. And you know you are too. We live, we learn. If a person believes themselves to be perfect, what is left to live for?

Memy

Give me a fruitful error any time, full of seeds, bursting with its own corrections. You can keep your sterile truth for yourself.--Vilfredo
Pareto

Anyone who doesn't make mistakes isn't trying hard enough.--Wess Roberts

Feb 15, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		I relapsed too :(
by: Anonymous

I have been off meat for two years-no biggie...I don't miss it, however its taken me two years to talk myself into giving up dairy. I started Jan 1st and was good the whole month and felt better too. Then the food addiction and cravings krept back in and there I was again eating mac and cheese, pizza and ice cream..feeling guilty everyday. I knew I didn't want to stay that way but part of my reason for giving up the dairy was because I had such a food addiction to it, I couldn't just "cheat on the weekends" or "eat in moderation" I was bound to be sick and fat if I didn't cut it out completely! So it's been three days and I'm trying to get back on track. I've felt like such a hypocrite but I guess whats important is that I'm not giving up!

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